No what?

We’ve seen them. Those signs. They pepper the landscape and structures from coast to coast. We obey them. For the most part, we understand them. What are the words, you ponder. “No Pets” Ah, yes, the ominous placard that strikes dread into little old ladies with Lhasas… plump baby boomers bouncing their Beagles… prissy Mollies with their collies….

But, there is — as Paul Harvey was accustomed to saying — the rest of the story. We love to RV. We haven’t done it too long. Actually, we began about three years ago, but we’ve enjoyed it so much that we feel as if we have been camping for a much longer time.

From time to time, we take a jaunt to an RV dealer and pad around the lot to see what’s new among the trailers, motor homes, and fifth wheels. On one such recent walking tour, we came to the conclusion that the aforementioned sign is lacking in its direction.

It’s one thing to come across a dog’s calling card in the grass. Maybe not too palatable, but not exactly unexpected either. If you were to ask someone what animal is most associated with shelters, the dog would — undoubtedly — be the considered response.

I am a dog lover from the word “go” as my late grandmother would have put it. My family was awash with animals of all kinds — including, but not restricted to ordinary domesticated varieties, too. We had a raccoon that realized, after many experiments, that he could not wash his Graham crackers before munching on them. I always wanted a monkey, but my father put that thought to rest in short order. He was used to Mama having a small menagerie, but he drew the line at monkeys!

We had cats. When kittens were around, I would dress them in doll clothes and rock them to sleep in a doll’s cradle. Their tongues were fascinating, with prickly little barbs that seemed to go backward.

I must say that cats are rarely a problem. I’ve seen only one cat on lead, and that was a real surprise considering a cat’s independent nature.
And is there anything sweeter than “puppy breath”? Most of us have encountered a problem with a pet. Housebreaking can test your patience and your supply of carpet cleaner. However, with time, those hurdles are overcome and the house resounds with happy yips and barks to the delight of the children of the family.

Is there anything sweeter than the smell of “puppy breath”? Nothing that I can think of at the moment…. And what, pray tell, does all this have to do with a day at the RV dealer? Well, there is a connection, and it is a clear one.

A quick scan of the used RV ads on line will tell you a lot. Of course, text states the year, the manufacturer, model, type, size, mileage (if applicable), standards, available options, and — of course — price. But there’s more. In many of the ads, a couple of attributes have nothing to do with the RV itself. In contrast, they reflect the lifestyle of the former owner.

One is pretty standard: non-smoker. The other is our old friend, “No Pets”. If you think that this is the “be all end all” guaranteeing you a pristine recreational vehicle, think again. I consider it a bit off the standard mark with good reason.

After stepping in and out of dozens of used RVs, we came to the opinion that some of them should have had boasted a disclaimer. “No pet would have left this unit in such a condition.”

Perhaps each new RVs should come with a sign of its own. Moreover, such a sign would be perfect for apartments, houses, cars, alleys, sidewalks, lawns, and storage barns. Oh, and public restrooms….

No dirty people.

Think about it.

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