167 “Heads”

IN DEFENSE OF COMMON SENSE
By Hetty Gray

# 167

October 29, 2013

“Heads?”

Well, now…. It’s about time for tales of Ichabod Crane and such. Ghouls, goblins and scary faces will abound on our streets this coming Thursday night — weather permitting. It’s always sad to see a dreary, rainy Halloween night that finds parents slopping through water and carrying the little ones who so wanted to show off their costumes. Hope for good weather this year!

All that said, let’s treat ourselves to an upscale version of Halloween and take a look at some of the interesting characters afoot daily in Washington, D.C. these days. Hmmmm…. Read the following descriptions and guess who is behind the mask.

First of all, we have the power broker. Armed with his smirk and arrogant posture, he weighs heavily over those below him in rank and is no friend to the critic. Accustomed to living high, he would never think of toning down his lifestyle. Taking advice is not in his repertoire and assuming knowledge where there is none is an everyday occurrence. His toothy grin belies an inner smoldering. The last thing he wants is not to get his way.

Our second character is a squirrel. He chirps away softly as if that tone of voice could disguise his name-calling of peers and strange commentaries. In truth, if he hadn’t been one before, it seems that he has lived among nuts long enough that he has actually become one. It doesn’t take a lot of imagination to see him moving his eyes quickly and boxing with his front feet and sparring with the air to gain attention as a mainstream media darling. The other, larger animals that encounter him find him not only stubborn but also unapproachable. When challenged, he balks and surrounds himself with others that fear a loss of power in the forest. His accomplices have one goal — to be on the power broker’s list of favorites.

The third person is a buffoon and loves the sound of his own voice. When he blurts out what he deems a cogent thought, his statement comes across as so absurd and out of sync with the surrounding society that he is judged a fool. The power broker keeps him in the background as much as possible — no easy task because his very position demands attention.

The fourth character presumes to inflict personal preferences on others, whether they want to accept them or not. This all-knowing individual must have been a body builder at one time, because one almost never glimpses the person in sleeved garb. I suppose that throwing one’s weight around does put on muscle. Unfortunately, it does not garner a lot of friends. Rich food appeals to this person, as too does lavish leisure — all the time championing the downtrodden. Ah, the perks of position….

Our number five is slight of build, but makes up for physique in unmitigated gall. If brazen behavior won medals, this person would take the gold in any competition. Wealthy and powerful, this person expounds on empathy and introspection with “the poor”. A fervent supporter of union workers, this person is thought to employ nary a union worker in successful family businesses. Subterfuge is not in this person’s vocabulary. Armed with an unusual thought process, this person’s public statements defy reality and challenge logic and common sense.

Number six is an action figure claiming to defend justice, yet is thought to have undermined justice at every possible opportunity. Far from Superman and “the American way,” this person is eager to taint any situation with a racial brush. In the public per-view, this person’s motives are, to many, highly suspect. In any case, the costume is unimportant because actions take center stage and they speak volumes.

It’s a treat for these folks to trick us. Their box of goodies always has a string attached and it affixes to our wallets. Ah, the glory of power unrestrained and underreported by what was once a proud, free, unbiased fourth estate. Those colonists who risked death at their own printing presses are thrashing about in their graves over the current condition of American print and mainstream broadcast journalism.

Now, it’s up to you to pull back the masks and “I.D” this group. With them around, there’s no need to fear ghosts or goblins. If they have their way, the United States will be relegated to an economic and social cemetery in due course. Think about it.

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